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The Player Characters, Tom and Jon

Tom and Jon

These boys have been neighbours since early childhood. Jon moved to Tom´s hoods when they were only three years old. In the beginning they were bitter enemies but soon they realised that they have a lot in common and became friends. Both of them are restless and daring souls who have tendency to agitate each other into thrilling ventures. Together they have gone through countless tricky situations and down the road have become blood brothers. When Sue came into picture, she inflicted crisis. Boys are still kind of best friends and appreciate each other enormously, but same time they both are trying their best to win their dream girl’s heart, no matter what.


The Girl, Sue

Sue is a real “girl next door”. All of you know what she is like. That is, if you ever have had an incredible, same time world´s hottest and sweetest girl living on your next door. Sue is a little bit mystery. She is new in school and has just moved into same neighbourhood with boys. Jon and Tom have only changed a few words with her but they are already convinced her divinity.

The Bullies, the Ully-Bully gang

The Ully-Bully Gang

The Ully-Bully gang is the menace of the school. It consists of hated McUlly brothers, bunch of awe-inspiringly sturdy brutes, and their weedier yet cunning and vicious leader John Doe. Rully, Kully and Bully McUlly are infamous of their thick heads and short temper towards someone who could outwit them (that includes practically everyone). Yet bovine, they are very tough and capable fighters. Because their lack of other talents, about only thing they understand and enjoy is the violence. They are hated and feared by everyone in school and proud of it. The only exception for people they can stand beside their own family is John Doe, who is even more spiteful than brothers. He is the rotten brains of the bunch. John is holding a constant grudge against Jon and Tom, because he used to be “friends” with Tom before Jon moved into neighbourhood. (Actually, they were not exactly friends even then. More likely, John used to use Tom as a bunching pack when he was bored.) Scary enough, John Doe is dating McUllies´ sister Scully.

The Nerd, Marcus Lamemountain III

Marcus Lamemountain III

Marcus Lamemountain the third is not just any nerd. He is extremely talented in mathemathics and sciences, yes, and he is not very popular amongst other students. But as one who come from a wealthy and priviledged family, he has always known his value. So main reason for his unpopularity is not a fact that he is a geek, but more likely the fact that he is arrogant bastard. He despises all who are not as book-learned or not from as wealthy families as himself. And that includes more or less everyone. Twice. Marcus do not care to boast with his wealth (everyone knows that his family is filthy rich) by appearance or fancy clothes. His boasting is more like an endogenous feature. He suffers (or at his own point of view, enjoys) delusions of grandeur and prepare himself for incoming days when everyone do as he says. Murmuring and tittering by oneself as well as peculiar outlook would be a reason for a guy to get a severe bullying in most schools (and especially in this one), but for few reasons Marcus has been left mostly in peace. One reason for this is obviously that once a year almost everyone is invited to his big birthday party. While not particularly enjoyable events otherwise, there is always loads of delicacies, swimming pool available and sometimes even gifts for all the guests! No one wants to anger Marcus so much that future invitation would be canceled. Also, Marcus sometimes feels generous and bribe some of the toughest bullies in school to act as his gorillas. He is mocked sometimes of course, but in most cases bullies will suffer the consequences. This nerd is revengeful and he also have fun by priming bombs and setting other traps equally for his bullies and innocents. So although despised, he is little bit feared as well.

The Cleaning Lady, Ms. Mobäck

Ms. Mobäck

Ms. Mobäck's roots are in a tiny Swedish village. As a teenager, she was definite princess in her school, admired by boys and envied by girls. She did not pay much attention to either school work or feelings of others. She knew that she didn't need to, after all, she was high above those kind of boring commonplace troubles. In matter of fact, she used to be (unintentionally) quite cruel towards both her admirers and enviers. After school, she got an easy job as a top-rated waitress in area's only Chinese restaurant Dragon Schlong. As a beautiful and flirtatious young wench, she immediately became very popular also amongst customers, gaining lot's of compliments and tips. Owner of the restaurant was under her spell as well, so she managed to double her salary without effort and enjoyed paid holidays whenever she felt like it. Life rolled smoothly, but Ms. Mobäck knew that she obviously was meant to be something bigger. A star by birthright. She decided to leave Sweden and headed to Hollywood to fulfill her destiny. Unfortunately, she was soon to face first adversities of her life. Outside her home village, where ever she looked, she saw starlet more glamorous and talented than herself. Also, she slowly realized that Swedish was not very widely spoken outside Sweden. Practically without education or skills, or even experiences of facing people as her equals, she noticed now to be an outcast. Old tricks which worked well in tiny Swedish village were not working in so well in big wide world. With no success in star industry, she was forced to find all kind of odd jobs to earn her living. But because her attitude problem she was not able to keep any job for long. The more adversities she encountered the worse became her attitude. She did not find anything wrong in herself but always blamed world and other people of her bad luck. Once she even tried a career of professional dominatrix, but was too heartless for that. Life was not easy anymore. Ms Mobäck drifted from one unfortunate event to another, after she finally was lucky enough to get a regular post as a cleaning lady in a school we know so well. Now, as a bitter and little bit crazy old hag, she is willing to revenge her disappointments for anyone who across her path. Only victims available are students of her school.

Fatboy Badenhoff

Fatboy Badenhoff

Fatboy was destined to become obese. Besides of his enthusiasm for gluttony, he really did not have any other talent. In very early age he realized that he is not much of a sportsman. He was not a frail guy (on the contrary), but very clumsy and he lacked stamina. Other boys constantly threw his weight around. Book learning was not his cup of butter either. Books were boring and besides too intense studying made his brain hurt. When we now think of it, he was not really interested in anything… but food. His father was a confectioner and his mother was a peril of successful sausage factory. His parents were divorced and they were not in speaking terms with each other. They did not have much time to speak with their son either. Fatboy's father was very busy with his small yet famous delicatessen which he ran almost alone. (He considered himself as an artist, and truth was that his products were very good.) And his mother has returned to her premarital cougar ways (most probably one reason of divorce), spending her times in activities which were better left unknown for a growing child. Young Badenhoff was allowed to come and go as he pleased. Fatboy's parents did not have time or love to give for their son and that they try to compensate by giving him as much delicacies as he could consume. Badenhoff was lonely child. He did not have any real friends either. He was lightly overweighted which encouraged mockery amongst his peers. Luckily, he invent a way to refine his only passion (eating) as a way of life. He spent morning enjoying the products of his family's factory, at midday he went to taste some of his father's new creations and in the afternoon was time to ask some money from his mother and go for a shopping spree… or actually, acquaint himself with the offerings of local snack bars. By the time his school started, he has puffed up so much, that nobody was able to throw his weight around. Quite a contrary. He was so huge that he could easily flatten anyone who was so incautious that stayed on his way. Food had become his only interest and he did not let anything or anyone stay between him and his next snack.

Math Teacher Petjoy-Davidsson

Mr. Petjoy-Davidsson

Mr. Petjoy-Davidsson has been a widow for long. He hates students -and actually math as well- but highly approved his deceased wife. He even combined her last name into his own. Mrs. Petjoy was a plastic surgeon of high repute, with many famous and wealthy customers. There was a time when Petjoy-Davidssons were regular visitors in upper-class parties. Sadly, after Mrs. Petjoy passed away, invitations for those happenings soon went dry. Nobody (excluding his deceased wife) actually liked pompous and bitter Mr. Petjoy-Davidsson. He has same manners both in and outside of the class room. Because of his total lack of social skills and sense of reality, he still sees himself as an important part of a shallow jet set (a society, where he was never wanted). He compensates his lack of life by concentrating his work. In other words, acting unreasonable stern and demanding in class room. Restless Tom and Jon have gained his special attention. The only joy for Petjoy is to see his students getting into trouble. Poor man. And poor students.

The Chemistry Teacher, Ms. Twinge

Ms. Twinge

As a young teacher, Ms. Twinge looked very different than nowadays. She was plump, happy and full of enthusiasm. She appeared in the midst of the year when previous chemistry teacher mysteriously disappeared. (It was never told to students what happened to him.) First kids did not even realize that she was a new substitute teacher. They just saw a smiley chubby character with trendy sunglasses smoking in the school yard. She was so young and unconventional that it was hard to identify her as a teacher. Ms. Twinge believed, that friendly atmosphere was most favorable for learning, and that rather than authoritative figure, the best teacher was the one who was friends with her student. Student's were little bit suspicious at first. (They were not used to friendly teachers.) but little by little they started to relax. They even joked openly about Ms. Twingy's serious nicotine addiction and rotund shape but she did not seem to care. Kids came to that conclusion that she was quite OK as a teach. Besides, classes were never overlong because Miss T was busy for her next smoke. She consumed about three box of cigarettes per day and forty minutes started to be maximum time she could stand without having a smoke. She was maybe even too kind for her students because they started to now complain even gratuitously. For example, if kids were not happy for they grades, they tried to negotiate that with Ms. Twinge afterwards. Sometimes it worked sometimes it did not. Finally one of the kids overused her kindliness. In those days lunch hours were terrible rush. There simply were too many student's for schools little lunchroom. Ms. Twinge offered a solution for her class by letting them to leave class ten minutes earlier before lunch hours every day. (That also considerably eased her nicotine withdrawal symptoms in that hour.) Unfortunately this one cocky student who -regardless of his pleads- did not get a grade he was hoping for, decided to get even by complaining to headmaster that chemistry classes were constantly cut too short and thus dilute her learning. As a result, headmaster gave a very serious telling-off to poor Miss Twinge. She almost lose her job in a process. After that everything chanced. Her work had been everything for Ms. Twinge and so it remain. Only now, she became complete opposite of her former shelf. If there were any kind of familiar behavior from students part, it was immediately strictly punished. More than that, Miss T was now so paranoid that almost everything what students did lead to a punishment. Headmaster noticed the desired change and Ms. Twinge's temporary employment become permanent. Miss Twinge however, never returned to her old ways and new generations were going to know her as “a chemteach from Hell”. She exploited her new found fascistic approach in her personal life as well and managed to get rid of tobacco and slim herself down. It was a cold comfort. With her new Spartan living she did not have any bright spots left and she vent all her frustration to her students. Cheerful and plump lady became venomous and hostile hag. One could think that avenging that childish incident from the past for yet another and another generation of students is not very mature from adult pedagogue's part. They might be right but that does not change anything.

The Cook

The Cook

The Cook has a a wild reputation. Some say that he used to be a pirate in the East Coast of Africa, others tell that he was raised in ghettos of Staten Island in New York. There are stories of a large harem, crazy parties and constant clashes with law caused by his various extreme hobbies. Cook himself do not deny any of those rumors. (It may even be that he has started most of them himself.) His behavior is unpredictable, striking fear into hearts of his fellow-men. Art of its own kind is his cookery. Most of the days people are not able to recognize what ingredients are used in his cuisine. Neither by looks nor taste. Rats, roadkills, missing dogs… rumor has it even cannibalism. Still, everyone try to swallow their portion while under the Cooks stern glare. What is the truth behind this daunting character? Well, actually, he lived quite normal childhood and teenage years in a friendly middle class neighborhood. He could not be called “a motor-mouth”, more like “a steady silent type” was his type. He was not either popular or despised, everyone just considered him boring. Maybe a little odd because his peculiar sense of humor, but most of the time he was that guy who no one did not really pay attention. Plainly boring. With a vivid imagination, but slow with words and awkward in social situations, he felt frustrated. Same went on in vocational school. He did not get much attention from others. After he graduated as a cook, he left his past behind and looked for a job as far as his birthplace as possible. When he got a post as a school's cook he decided to create a reputation. He left all kind of false tips from his imaginative past for people to find and people's willingness to expect worst from newcomer did the rest. Nowadays he does not need to make up new rumors any more. Kids and teachers in school are quite capable to make up new stories on their own. Feared and -in a strange way- admired Cook take care of that his grumpy and ominous behavior keep people on their toes. In his heart Cook is still a benevolent guy who do not want harm to anyone. But the joke is just too entertaining and he is highly amused how easily people have bought even the craziest stories of him. The Cook is secretly a big fan of Chef of Southpark, but does not make a number of it because he is well aware of that he could never be as smooth as his idol. Instead, he confine to invoking terror amongst school kids (and amongst teacher as well!) while secretly laughing at his odd private joke.

characters.txt · Last modified: 2019/10/22 19:35 (external edit)